Quality over Quantity: A Different Kind of Show
After several years of living in Germany, I finally had the chance to fly back to Singapore. While my main priority was to spend time with family and friends, I knew that despite my hang-ups, I wanted to do something with my music during my time back home. Most people would’ve used such an opportunity to put together a regular show, but I decided to do something fairly different.
Interaction over Applause
Some weeks before my trip, some friends happened to be near our city and spontaneously invited Laura and I out for dinner. Dinner led to hanging out at our apartment, where I shared all the songs I’d completed so far for the Terrible Luck record. But this wasn’t your regular listening party, attended by the who’s who of music and filled with gimmicks to keep them listening. Instead, our friends visibly gave their undivided attention: Their bodies remained still, their heads were bowed, and their eyes were closed, as they savoured every detail. We even discussed each piece at length. At the end, they thanked me and genuinely expressed how much they looked forward to hearing the entire album once it was completed. As I watched them drive off, my heart ached with a longing to recreate that atmosphere. That connection I felt made me realise that interaction had become more important to me than applause.
Even so, I was afraid. After all, my last performance was several years ago. Besides that, I still struggle to view my last show in Singapore in a positive light. The voice in my head continues to insist that I am a total failure because it was mostly friends who came, even though that is completely untrue. The more I deliberated over performing again, the louder and more persistent that voice grew. I almost gave up.
To work through my inner conflict, I reached out to friend and Bandcamp subscriber Brian. He gave me a fantastic idea: Invite only people who are invested in the album. This way, success can’t be determined by the number of people that eventually turn up. Just like that, enthusiasm replaced fear and I began preparing in earnest for the show.
Possibly the only photo taken that night =)
The Concert
The warmth of Bas’ living room contrasted perfectly with the light drizzle and cold concrete buildings outside. Candescent lighting cast a soft glow on a circle of cozy cushions and chairs. As subscribers and collaborators chatted with each other, pretzel sticks crunched loudly in my mouth, while I internally visualised my upcoming ‘performance’. Anticipation mixed with excitement, that old friend I had not seen in years, rose with every minute. As everyone settled into their seats, I took in one last deep breath, pushed away that voice, and uttered a shaky ‘hello, everyone’.
If you think a living room concert was intimate, this format was intense. Before every song, I revealed the details of what inspired me to write it. In doing so, I felt so naked and vulnerable, that I didn’t even know where to look as each song played off my laptop. For the first time ever, I had no guitar, no stage persona, and no secrets left to hide behind. Just little old me, a former full-time musician in the midst of renegotiating music as an aspect of my identity, laid completely bare. I wondered if I would be enough.
To my surprise, my ‘audience’ lovingly embraced me. Their questions went deep, exploring further the mechanics of my craft, and often resulted in lively discussions that, looking back, took a bit too long ;) Everyone was so caught up in the moment, that no one took photos or videos. How un-Singaporean!
The definite highlight for me was an acoustic version of Down The Way. Because I had divulged that the song was actually about abuse and played the original version earlier on, singing the line ‘you swore I’d never bleed again’ cut deeper than ever before. I’m pretty sure that everyone present felt that those goosebumps were on a different level. Had I not done all of that, I don’t think the same effect would’ve taken place.
Does this Format Work?
While I definitely went home feeling refreshed and encouraged, new questions presented themselves. Why not just do a living room concert? I can see how that would make more sense, especially in terms of numbers (and donations), but if intimacy is your goal, this format achieves it effortlessly. As I explained earlier, it was exactly what I needed at this point in time. Will this format ever become the norm? I highly doubt it. A ‘show’ like this one would never be financially justifiable to the industry at large. Still, should artists be doing this every once in a while? From my experience, absolutely.
P.S. I’d like to thank again everyone who was there. Trying to finish this album hasn’t been easy, but you have encouraged me to keep going more than you know. I feel blessed to have you in my corner =)