Forgiefan: 10 in 2021
In this final instalment of emotionally unpacking from the last several months, I’d like to share about my struggle in letting something dear to me go.
Earlier this year, it dawned on me that Forgiefan would be 10 years old in 2021. How time flies! Naturally, the thought of doing something to commemorate the 10th anniversary of its release has often crossed my mind in these past few months. After all, this is an album that has changed my life and I’ve always wished that more people would have heard these songs.
I considered various possibilities, such as making a vinyl re-issue, or doing a remix album, or getting a bunch of friends to do covers and posting them on social media. But when I think about it objectively, I know that any of these would cost me a lot of money. Additionally, there’s no assurance that I could ever make back what I put in. As frustrating as it is, I know that I have to make the prudent decision here and channel my available resources towards completing the Terrible Luck album.
I guess the big lesson here for me is about acceptance. That doing something to commemorate the anniversary is simply a vanity project, a luxury that I can’t afford. That this album I poured my heart and soul into will be completely forgotten with the passing of time, that the CDs will end up in a bargain bin somewhere, is part of the gig that is music. That all I can do, is to move forward and make Terrible Luck an even better album than Forgiefan.
Play the truth and it will remain the truth for listeners to discover when they are ready. - "Zen Guitar” by Philip Toshio Sudo
After all, time only moves forward. Forgiefan served its purpose back then. The people who discovered the album did so, because it was what they needed to hear at that point in time. Though it will be far less likely to get people’s attention without any actual efforts, I’d like to believe that the songs will continue to find their way to whoever needs to hear them.
When 17th August comes around next year, perhaps I could publish a blog post that would encapsulate the highlights. Maybe I’ll finally write the tabs to some of the songs and put them up for sale. Maybe I could do a barter trade, e.g. a remix in return for a cover? Who knows? Whatever I choose to do (or not), I hope that you, the one who bought a CD, or streamed it online, or attended a show of mine, would on that day give these songs, as imperfect as they are, one more spin.
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